Eye Contact is Inappropriate in Porn

"Look at me"

Look at Me pic.twitter.com/WesfcZZys5

— Evie (@SubmittingSoulS) May 10, 2015

Ten years ago I had an encounter with a young alcoholic who was fluent in Greek and Latin and had a passion for Classical Studies.  He wooed me with ancient Roman artifacts, Absinthe from France and cannabis vodka.  He had me at "alcoholic".

I knew it was a brief, fleeting encounter and though I could want more, I wanted to keep it "professional" (for lack of a better word) and remain distant, almost platonic.  But during our encounter, when we had almost reached the apex of our "relationship", he asked me to look him in the eyes.  And I did.  And it changed everything.  It was unfair, a low blow, and suddenly I started to think of him not as a mechanism or device, but as a human being who shared many of my interests and could have intelligent conversations and had an ample supply of absinthe.  

Which brings us to the above porno gif: looking someone in the eyes changes the meaning of the encounter.  Porn isn't about connection of minds, but the connection of genitals.  Erotica involves eyes and artifacts and illegal vodkas.  Porn doesn't need to be about personalities, no more than a toilet needs to have a heated seat to work.

But Erotica, good Erotica, Erotica with a capital "E", needs extreme, aggressive eye contact.  We need fluttering eyelashes, wayward glances, and seductively drooping eyelids.  Erotica is that moment when the man/woman asks their partner in the encounter to look them in the eyes, thereby changing and disrupting and making wonderful everything.

(As for the alcoholic, I bought a copy of Inferno to read, as it was his favorite and called him the next day.  No answer, no return call, and I felt really, really, stupid.  But I learned that men need to keep their eyes to themselves.)