It's refreshing to be shocked. But then I have to deal with the aftermath, the stuttered questions, the haunting feeling of being lost in the thunderstorm of bafflement...
What the fuck.
What the fuck.
Again, what the fuck.
This was sent to me by a good friend of mine, with his own expressions of disbelief and confusion. I don't have the context for this work, and I hesitate to find one. It might be more interesting to approach this from a raw, ignorant point of view.
To begin with, this is extreme vagina dentata. This doll forms the epitome of the threatening metaphor of a vagina: it becomes a monstrous beast that will consume not only a man's penis, but his entire body. Why would a man submit to such a creature? The simple (and silly sounding) answer is that she's cute. Her face and smile are innocent, and she has the hint of a school girl about her. She invokes other mythological creatures such as a gorgon, siren, or Scylla and Charybdis: monstrous female creatures who are extreme dangers to men.
Why would men want to see such a creature manifested thus? Is it the allure of danger coupled with desire? Is it a statement that no matter what the logical, practical danger is, men will always be dominated by their penis?
Perhaps there's another statement about women: not that women are monsters or are to blame for causing harm to men. This is, after all, only a metaphor, not a medical diagram. Perhaps this is an expression of the power of women. That women have most of the power in a sexual exchange. That this is more about control: that women are to be feared, not because of what they can withhold, but by what they can express: hunger, anger, and desire in terrible degrees.
Most frighteningly, perhaps women don't need men at all.
This is Ariel and her alien. They are incredibly adorable and sexy together. Scroll down and see for yourself.
These pics aren't about an alien fetish, or an attempt to make a soft-core porno version of the X-Files and Agent Scully. It's much simpler than that.
This is about playfulness, irony, humor. It's sexy because it's clever and creative and unusual and there's so little of that in porn and erotica these days. Sex is usually depicted so seriously, discussed so earnestly, that there's little room to have fun. Ariel and her alien (and let's not forget that enigmatic enormous silver ball) and deliciously fun, lacking self-consciousness, and encourages us that things that are humorous and bizarre are also sexually arousing.
I chose this image as an introduction because this is the attitude my friends and I had while I was in grad school. Alcohol became a major component of my circle of friends, and pre-drinking our nights of drinking were common and necessary. And it was in this Bacchanal college life that I discovered my fetish for alcoholics.
I use the word "fetish" particularly, even though I'm referring to people. Let me quote the all-knowing Wikipedia:
Sexual fetishism or erotic fetishism is a sexual focus on a nonliving object or nongenital body part. The object of interest is called the fetish; the person who has a fetish for that object is a fetishist....In common parlance, the word fetish is used to refer to any sexually arousing stimuli, not all of which meet the medical criteria for fetishism. This broader usage offetish covers parts or features of the body (including obesity and body modifications), objects, situations and activities (such as smoking or BDSM).
So a fetish is a non-human object or action or features that stimulates the fetishist. An alcoholic wouldn't classify as a fetish because an alcoholic is a person.
But the way I have experienced it, alcoholics aren't people. They are artificially constructed performances. The person who does the performance seems to be themselves, but they aren't. Who they really are is someone different. The alcohol brings out something entertaining, complex, fun, exciting, suave, brave, witty, and sexy.
I've been with four alcoholics and none of them, at the height of their drunkenness, seemed like real people. They were too unreal, like a fantasy walking the earth. Everything they said was funny and perfect, everyone loved them and begged them to drink more and show up to more parties in the future. They seduced me with great craft and success, and, funnily enough, could hardly follow through on their physical promises.
There were negative sides, of course, but those were difficult to see. Fights could be terrible, and I would find myself screaming at them in the middle of the night. But even that was exciting in its own way. That level of anger can be thrilling, the relationship more dramatic, and the future in peril: would we ever make up? And when we did, would it be sublime?
All of the men were extremely artistic and intellectual and brilliant. And all of these qualities were made vibrant and electric by alcohol. I found myself just as electrified by them; it was an incredible endless circle of stimulation, fantasy, drama, disappointment and hope. But nothing ever worked out. Nothing survived of the relationships. Nothing could. We were all harming ourselves, in different ways, and it was doomed from the beginning.
Luckily, two of the four alcoholics I have known are now sober. The other two I have lost contact with completely. One of them, most likely, has drunk himself to death. I hope not. He was quite dazzling, though he never thought so sober.
I'm a rabid, crazed, hysterical, obsessed cricket fan. This is a big time for cricket as the IPL moves closer to its elimination round. So I've been chained to the TV, screaming and sighing as my teams are both amazing and sucking.
But I became inspired to find porn involving athletes. I could see the appeal as athletes seem superhuman in the things they could do, as well as exceptionally virile and masculine. I did a search and, of course, I found something interesting:
Aimed at gay men with a fetish for medical exams, Jockphysical.com promises prostate exams, embarrassing erections, and massage therapy. Boasting of now being "more medically invasive than ever before" they feature "'Urethral Sounding'" (yes, they put it in quotes). The male models are also "real authentic, genuine athletes." I admire the triple adjectives which assert that these are ACTUAL athletes.
Athletes are given full medical-ish profiles with all physical details offered:
This is aimed at gay men, but I could see straight/bisexual women being aroused by this. A form of BDSM, the patient in a medical exam is at the mercy of the doctor. The doctor must be invasive, go into intimate areas that only lovers are usually allowed. And the patient must be compliant.
The fact that these are athletes becomes even more exciting: the focus of the athlete is their body, something they are completely in control over. They must be in order to excel in their work. Most people will never be able to have that kind of physical awareness.
In a medical exam, the athlete is there for as much scrutiny possible. A doctor may touch any part of their body to see what is unusual (the muscles extremely toned, the legs very strong). Inadvertent erections betray the athlete--it is something they are not physically in control over. And the examining doctor has even more control, as their probings cause sexual excitement.
A last important detail for their gay audience is that all these athletes are assuredly straight. Why is this necessary? Because it only adds to the power of the doctor (and the audience of this examination becomes, by extension, the doctor). It is the fantasy of the gay man being able to touch and arouse the straight man, a figure who is sexually off limits.
Ask them. Directly. To their face. That's what I always do. For years, I knew the fetishes, kinks, cock size, homosexual experiences and the number of sexual partners a guy had long before I had conscious thoughts of fucking them. But I'm not timid about sex, and I haven't had sex with people who were.
But for those who are less bold, there are forms one can fill out. Seriously. And they're good.
MojoUpgrade: This is a really helpful internet quiz designed to help couples discover their sexual compatibility. And, their incompatibility. Or just to discover what you’re into. Lord Ristretto and I took this together and, funnily enough, that there were things we wanted to do but hadn't mentioned to the other. No matter how much communication a couple has, you can't remember EVERYTHING to talk about.
Fetishes And Limits: I found this on the /r/sex subreddit, created by /u/simontog. It's essentially the same thing as mojoupgrade, but in a more straightforward, printable form. Could be used as a party game or a drinking game. Here's a sample:
Here’s the scale: 1 - Very much into / Something I enjoy / Turn On 2 - Haven’t done it but want to try 3 - I would do it if the other person enjoyed it 4 - Does nothing for me, but isn’t a limit 5 - Hard limit / Something I won’t do / Turn off
_______ Age Play (you play younger)
_______ Animal Roles (e.g. human puppy dog)
_______ Examinations (doctor-nurse play/medical scenes)
_______ Family Play (e.g. Incest Play)
_______ Daddy/little girl (DD/lg)
_______ Fantasy Abandonment
_______ Fantasy Rape
_______ Prison Scenes
_______ Prostitution (being sold to others)
_______ Pony play (e.g. pony girl)
_______ Religious Play (nun/priest/rabbi/alterboy-girl)
_______ Anal Play/Anal Sex
_______ Anal Plugs/Beads
_______ Anal Plugs/Beads Outdoors (under clothes)
_______ Brown Showers (scat)
_______ Camming Sex with me
_______ Camming Sex with me and others
_______ Cyber Sex with me (no cam)
_______ Cyber Sex with me and others (no cam)
_______ Double Penetration with dildos
_______ Double Penetration with two men
_______ Fisting (anal)
_______ Fisting (vaginal)
_______ Food Play
_______ Forced Heterosexuality (being used by friends)
_______ Forced Heterosexuality (being used by strangers, with protection)
_______ Forced Homosexuality (being used by friends)
_______ Forced Homosexuality (being used by strangers)
_______ Gang Bang
_______ Genital Sex
_______ Glory-Hole Sex
_______ Golden Showers
_______ Lactation (giving)
_______ Lactation (receiving)
_______ Licking (body homage with tongue)
_______ Menstruation (sex during)
_______ Oral-Anal Play (rimming, receiving)
_______ Oral-Anal Play (doing to another)
_______ Phone Sex
_______ Photos on demand (e.g., via text messenger during the day)
_______ Sex (Heterosexual)
_______ Sex (Homosexual)
_______ Sexual Deprivation
_______ Strap-Ons (receiving)
_______ Strap-Ons (wearing/giving)
_______ Swapping (being given)
_______ Swinging (one or more other couples)
_______ Swallowing (cum)
_______ Talking Dirty (Talker)
_______ Talking Dirty (Talkee)
First of all, go HERE to see and experience the Male (and female) Real Dolls first hand. These are true works of art, and the more I look at them, the more I'm amazed with their quality and philosophy behind them. What's especially interesting are all the additional features that are available (from vampire fangs, green skin, pubic hair to interchangeable faces).
My biggest question is Who would purchase a male doll? After reading the website, I discovered that the male doll does not have a penetrable anus, but it does have a mouth capable of 7" penetration. So there is a market for gay/bisexual/curious men.
My first thought would be that women wouldn't be interested, but that may be unfair gender bias. Women have dildos, so it's absolutely logical that they would be interested in a doll. After all, didn't we all (men included) begin our lives playing with dolls?
It's easy to make fun of these dolls: see this Buzzfeed article for an example. It's easy to make fun because it's an unusual fetish and it's threatening: more than any other toy or object, these dolls threaten to supplant real people. It seems "unnatural" and we assume it's the desire of a person with psychological problems.
Perhaps. We would need to talk to someone with a Real Doll to begin to understand what the attraction is. If anyone reading this has and enjoys a Real Doll, please contact me. I would love to speak with you.
There's something about a Death Fetish that makes perfect sense to me. And it has nothing to do with the concept of the orgasm being a Little Death (petit mort).
There is something intimate between a killer and his/her victim. To kill someone, theoretically, can be the greatest form of intimacy: the victim has a last person they see, the last person who knew them, the one person who took their life. It's a form of virginity, where the person "taking" the "first" event becomes elevated made all important. The ultimate, infamous Romantic lover.
The above Redditor limits his definition of Death Fetish to male/female scenarios, but it can be more complex than that. Going to Fetnoir.com, you'll discover how complex this can be. There are various forms of death, those involving crimes and rape, executions, movies and anime and all forms of art work. Femme fetales fit into this universe, as do the traditional masked burglar who appears in stereotypical rape fantasies. Sex can occur before, during or after the death. And, of course, there is quite a lot of it on the internet.
I went to psycho-thrillers.com, mentioned by the Redditor above, and found quite a long list of movies involving death fetish. I pulled the following images, the ones that struck me the most because of all the fetishes included in this one film:
Priests, murder, sexual predators (I'm assuming that this means that the priest is a pedophile, and the woman pictured is, by implication, underage. Of course, because of the pornography laws in the US, portraying such things is illegal). For me, this is a fetish jackpot. And it's just the beginning.
I recently discovered the fascinating work of Stacy the Artist. She has a series of works done using RealDolls in everyday scenarios---or to some extent everyday. What is haunting in these pics (and I only chose ones that interested me personally for whatever reason) are the eyes. The bodies may look real enough, but the eyes are always empty. But that didn't pull me out of the photos and remind me these are only dolls. It made me think of how we can be in similar scenarios, and our eyes are just as empty or dead. In certain scenarios, such as parties, we become used just like dolls. I've been to plenty of parties and know and have experienced this as true. Women especially can be made into party games and exploited just as much as if she was made of high quality plastic. Dolls aren't an objectification of women; dolls merely are imitations of our own self-objectification.
I can understand the appeal: a doll who looks realistically like a woman, and yet has no will, agency, ability to object or judge or criticize. One can do anything to this object without any kind of fallout.
Of course, there is a lack of the positives: the pleasure that can be elicited and is in itself very arousing. The independent actions that occur, the desire to please and give, which are also extremely arousing. The positive reactions, the praise and begging and worship.
But a doll like this isn't for people who want those things. This doll is for someone entirely focused upon control and domination. The chain around this doll's neck is more than an ornament. The doll is for someone who wants no reaction, positive or negative. The doll is for someone who doesn't want the responsibility, even the burden, of being sexually with someone who could be an independent individual.
This doll appeals to those who do not want to be with a human being, only the suggestion, the image of a human being.
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I've been extraordinarily open minded about sex ever since my first year in college, when I learned women could have orgasms. (I was a late bloomer in high school.) Nothing shocks me. All of it interests me. I can never get enough of it.
All of the pics in my blog are stolen/borrowed from other websites. I consider myself not really a thief, but a pirate. Arrrrrrr!!!
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And I thought I was fucked up.