I was browsing/answering posts on the subreddit /r/sex this afternoon, and found one about threesomes:  Best Way To Get Into A Threesome.  Here is the advice I gave, and, yes, it's based upon personal experience.


1). Don't push it. They happen naturally. When you try to force the situation, it brings a creep vibe that kills the mood.

2)  It will happen with friends of yours who are openminded sexually. They might not have said they want a threesome, but they could be flirty or like talking about sex. (Talking about sex is a great way to eventually have sex)

3). Drink alcohol. It lowers everyone's inhibitions and removes responsibility (apparently).

4). Be brave. Threesomes always require that person (when the time is right) to be willing to do the one thing that will take everyone past the point of no return. Be that person.






If you find my perverted curiosity interesting, read my book!!!  DYING IN PLEASURE

This lovely article showed up in my Facebook feed the other day: A Handy Guide To Sex In The Middle Ages.  The article focuses on church edicts which prohibit certain sexual acts in the population, and accompanying penances. This is my favorite:

There are others, covering masturbation and women using foreign objects in their vaginas.  I prefer to look at these rules/laws as a indirect guide to what people in the middle ages were doing sexually.  After all, you don't make laws prohibiting things people aren't doing.

Using the above example, there was gay behavior.  There was bestiality (I'll avoid arguing over equating these two behaviors; that's a different blog post.)  

Women were crafting or finding objects to serve as phalluses.  There were blow jobs with swallowing.  There was masturbation, casual sex, and prostitution.  Sex within marriage (the only appropriate place for it) had restrictions, acceptable on certain days of the month and only in the missionary position.

I'm going to go out on a limb and say there was quite a lot of sex.  I'm also going to give the church the benefit of the doubt and say that there were more reasons for these restrictions other than church doctrine and ultra conservative beliefs.  

There are practical reasons for restricting sex:  syphilis is an enormous one.  There was no cure for syphilis and it killed thousands.  There are other sexually transmitted diseases such as herpes and gonorrhea.  And this controlled the population and rates of pregnancy.  At this time, too, women dying in childbirth was a real, constant threat.  

With all these doctrines in place, with specific behaviors having very specific punishments, and with the threat of disease and pregnancy, imagine how exciting sex would be.  How difficult it would be to find a safe spot to do it, and the high risk of being caught.  Forbidding sex can make some of the most exciting sex ever experienced.  Anyone who has committed adultery can attest to this.

The picture above is of Mark Sturkenboom's Memory Box.  It includes a spritzer for perfume, a system for playing music, and a glass dildo which may hold a person's ashes.  The idea is that the bereaved may experience the love and passion of their lost lover, by smelling their cologne, hearing their favorite song, and being sexually stimulated by their ashes.  Go here for the original article I read about this.

Is this possible?  I mean, is it possible to have sexual stimulation from using a dildo containing the ashes of someone who has died?

Let's say that Lord Ristretto, my boyfriend, has died, suddenly, and I am in a position where I may have his ashes.  Let's say that a certain amount of time has elapsed, during which the intense horror of mourning has occurred.  So I've arrived at a point that I can contemplate doing this without being offended or disgusted by it.  Perhaps I'm lonely and physically hungry enough that this sounds appetizing.  

What would this experience involve?  Turning on his favorite song, spritzing myself with his cologne, and inserting a cold, inhumanly hard dildo into my vagina and think of him?  Because that experience would be absolutely nothing like sex with my boyfriend.  I'm not saying that the ashes dildo wouldn't be pleasurable at all and it's an offensive idea.  I think that this idea might be approached differently.

What I would do is dress the dildo up, put a hat on it, googily eyes, a Superman cape.  I would make it an icon, the reinvented version of my boyfriend.  It would be funny and reverential (Batman would be a better outfit, because his lordship prefers Batman).  I would dress up its box as a bed, make sheets for it out of his pillowcase so it smelled like him.  I might even cut out a picture of his face and tape it to the pointy top of the dildo, and I could kiss it and make a joke about him easily becoming hard with just a kiss.

This is just one way to approach it.  How else could it work?  This offers great potential, and uses the ashes as a totem which I think can be a powerful tool for mourning.  The sexual loss in death should be confronted and accepted. 

First of all, go HERE to see and experience the Male (and female) Real Dolls first hand.  These are true works of art, and the more I look at them, the more I'm amazed with their quality and philosophy behind them.  What's especially interesting are all the additional features that are available (from vampire fangs, green skin, pubic hair to interchangeable faces).

My biggest question is Who would purchase a male doll?  After reading the website, I discovered that the male doll does not have a penetrable anus, but it does have a mouth capable of 7" penetration.  So there is a market for gay/bisexual/curious men.  

My first thought would be that women wouldn't be interested, but that may be unfair gender bias.  Women have dildos, so it's absolutely logical that they would be interested in a doll.  After all, didn't we all (men included) begin our lives playing with dolls?

It's easy to make fun of these dolls: see this Buzzfeed article for an example.  It's easy to make fun because it's an unusual fetish and it's threatening: more than any other toy or object, these dolls threaten to supplant real people.  It seems "unnatural" and we assume it's the desire of a person with psychological problems.  

Perhaps.  We would need to talk to someone with a Real Doll to begin to understand what the attraction is.   If anyone reading this has and enjoys a Real Doll, please contact me.  I would love to speak with you.

I found this on my Twitter feed (@ladyristretto4u).  Will someone please explain this to me?  Why?  Why is this hot?  I don't get it.  I'm not being smarmy: this is one of those sexual things that I just can't compute.  There are things (such as death fetish) that I can compute without being aroused by it.  With this, I'm lost.  

All I can think when I look at this is that there's no possible way she can change the channel.

Well, maybe.

There's something about a Death Fetish that makes perfect sense to me.  And it has nothing to do with the concept of the orgasm being a Little Death (petit mort).  

There is something intimate between a killer and his/her victim.  To kill someone, theoretically, can be the greatest form of intimacy: the victim has a last person they see, the last person who knew them, the one person who took their life.  It's a form of virginity, where the person "taking" the "first" event becomes elevated made all important.  The ultimate, infamous Romantic lover.

 The above Redditor limits his definition of Death Fetish to male/female scenarios, but it can be more complex than that.  Going to Fetnoir.com, you'll discover how complex this can be.  There are various forms of death, those involving crimes and rape, executions, movies and anime and all forms of art work.  Femme fetales fit into this universe, as do the traditional masked burglar who appears in stereotypical rape fantasies.  Sex can occur before, during or after the death.  And, of course, there is quite a lot of it on the internet.  

I went to psycho-thrillers.com, mentioned by the Redditor above, and found quite a long list of movies involving death fetish.  I pulled the following images, the ones that struck me the most because of all the fetishes included in this one film:

Priests, murder, sexual predators (I'm assuming that this means that the priest is a pedophile, and the woman pictured is, by implication, underage.  Of course, because of the pornography laws in the US, portraying such things is illegal).  For me, this is a fetish jackpot.  And it's just the beginning.

I found this on Reddit, of course, buried in comments on this post.  Not only did this guy cum on the dead bird, he dressed it as the pope, named it Pope Avian, and gave it a traditional viking funeral.  Why?  Because he could, I suppose.  Because he was a creative, open minded person, imaginative person.  Because, like a child, he had to make up a story for it.  And an entertaining one at that.  

What makes this most bizarre is the fact that he came on it.  Why not just piss on it?  Because that would be disrespectful.  But to cum on it?  We cum on things that excite us, that move us physically.  Cumming on something is paying tribute.  It is a form of honor.  

Is this guy a pervert?  A freak?  Of course he is.  And we need more people like him in the world.

The image below is a step by step description of the process.  Click on it to get to a larger image.