FAQ
Q. What is up with all the coffee shit?
A. Excellent question. Coffee is my drug of choice. For those of you who have read my work and perhaps contemplating hiring me to write something deliciously salacious for you, you should be happy about this. While I'm writing erotica, I'm always drinking coffee. It's a stimulant, not only for my brain, but physically as well. I do my best work while drinking coffee.
Q. I have this idea about a story, but I'm not sure...?
A. No need to be shy. I've written stories about golden showers, ironing, Minotaur sex, incest, cuckolding, hairy women, dirty women, gay sex, threesomes, orgies, sex clubs, foot fetishes, BDSM, pegging, even a bit of scat. As long as the story doesn't break the law, it's all good with me.
Q. What story will break the law?
A. Underage sex and sex with a real animal. (Unicorns, dinosaurs, and Minotaur are fine because they're mythic).
Q. Why are you doing this? You have legit degrees and everything and have books on Amazon and you've had plays produced. Why do you want to write like this? You don't get to control the content.
A. As strange as this sounds, writing erotica for people makes me feel fulfilled. It makes me happy. I know that some people have fetishes that they're terrified to tell anyone, and can't really find the kind of erotica that works for them. Like hairy women. Not really part of the sexual trends in the media today. Yet it's so harmless. What's worse, telling others about these interests may result in public humiliation and mockery.
Q. What's the weirdest story you've ever written?
A. Ironing. A man has his penis ironed by his mistress. Yes, a hot iron. Yes, the pleasure comes from the pain of the iron. Specifically the iron. My client was very pleased.
Q. What's the longest story you've ever written?
A. The longest was 28,000 words and involved mistress/slave (both women), gang bangs, water sports, orgies, lesbian sex, oral anal sex, and a shower scene between five women.
Q. Who owns the stories you write? Will you ever get them published?
A. The stories are owned by myself and the client. If I ever wanted to put them on my website or publish them, it must be with the permission of the client.
Q. How anonymous will this be? Would you ever publish my name with a story then?
Not without your permission. I will respect your anonymity entirely. You will always be referred to as "the client" and I will never share your real name or one of your stories with anyone (even my friends) without your permission.
Q. Is this just for men, or can you write for women, too?
A. Women clients are very, very rare, but I do enjoy writing for women. Women are more than welcome.
Q. So what are you into?
A. Nothing. I'm the most boring person ever. Vanilla is too spicy for me. That's why writing all of these stories is so interesting to me. Think about it: a man gets sexually excited over watching a woman pee. The human mind is such an incredibly imaginative creation that it can sexualize things that aren't sexual. That's fucking amazing. I wish I was that creative.
Q. So if I want a story, what do I do? How much do I have to have planned out? I don't know how to write a story.
A. First, write me via the contact me page or email me: ladyristretto@mail.com. Tell me your thoughts about the story. What characters do you want to have? What sex do you want to see? Is there a scenario you'd like, such as teacher/student or brother and sister? If all you want is to see a lot of hairy women fuck each other, I can work with that. You can give me as much freedom to create the story as you wish. Or, you can give me a list of events you want to see. We write back and forth and discuss price. You pay half up front. I need about 3-5 days for the first draft, which I will send you. You can ask for changes or not. Chances are, I'll make changes from there, because it is the first draft. I make revisions and send you the final draft. If, after I make all the necessary changes, you still aren't satisfied, I will refund you all of your deposit. This working relationship is a relationship. That means we may work well together or not. I have always worked well with my clients, but sometimes the click isn't there. But there are some where the click was perfect.
Q. So if you could order an erotic short story to be written about something you're into, what would it be?
A. Nope. You'll have to contact me if you want to know the answer to that.
A. Excellent question. Coffee is my drug of choice. For those of you who have read my work and perhaps contemplating hiring me to write something deliciously salacious for you, you should be happy about this. While I'm writing erotica, I'm always drinking coffee. It's a stimulant, not only for my brain, but physically as well. I do my best work while drinking coffee.
Q. I have this idea about a story, but I'm not sure...?
A. No need to be shy. I've written stories about golden showers, ironing, Minotaur sex, incest, cuckolding, hairy women, dirty women, gay sex, threesomes, orgies, sex clubs, foot fetishes, BDSM, pegging, even a bit of scat. As long as the story doesn't break the law, it's all good with me.
Q. What story will break the law?
A. Underage sex and sex with a real animal. (Unicorns, dinosaurs, and Minotaur are fine because they're mythic).
Q. Why are you doing this? You have legit degrees and everything and have books on Amazon and you've had plays produced. Why do you want to write like this? You don't get to control the content.
A. As strange as this sounds, writing erotica for people makes me feel fulfilled. It makes me happy. I know that some people have fetishes that they're terrified to tell anyone, and can't really find the kind of erotica that works for them. Like hairy women. Not really part of the sexual trends in the media today. Yet it's so harmless. What's worse, telling others about these interests may result in public humiliation and mockery.
Q. What's the weirdest story you've ever written?
A. Ironing. A man has his penis ironed by his mistress. Yes, a hot iron. Yes, the pleasure comes from the pain of the iron. Specifically the iron. My client was very pleased.
Q. What's the longest story you've ever written?
A. The longest was 28,000 words and involved mistress/slave (both women), gang bangs, water sports, orgies, lesbian sex, oral anal sex, and a shower scene between five women.
Q. Who owns the stories you write? Will you ever get them published?
A. The stories are owned by myself and the client. If I ever wanted to put them on my website or publish them, it must be with the permission of the client.
Q. How anonymous will this be? Would you ever publish my name with a story then?
Not without your permission. I will respect your anonymity entirely. You will always be referred to as "the client" and I will never share your real name or one of your stories with anyone (even my friends) without your permission.
Q. Is this just for men, or can you write for women, too?
A. Women clients are very, very rare, but I do enjoy writing for women. Women are more than welcome.
Q. So what are you into?
A. Nothing. I'm the most boring person ever. Vanilla is too spicy for me. That's why writing all of these stories is so interesting to me. Think about it: a man gets sexually excited over watching a woman pee. The human mind is such an incredibly imaginative creation that it can sexualize things that aren't sexual. That's fucking amazing. I wish I was that creative.
Q. So if I want a story, what do I do? How much do I have to have planned out? I don't know how to write a story.
A. First, write me via the contact me page or email me: ladyristretto@mail.com. Tell me your thoughts about the story. What characters do you want to have? What sex do you want to see? Is there a scenario you'd like, such as teacher/student or brother and sister? If all you want is to see a lot of hairy women fuck each other, I can work with that. You can give me as much freedom to create the story as you wish. Or, you can give me a list of events you want to see. We write back and forth and discuss price. You pay half up front. I need about 3-5 days for the first draft, which I will send you. You can ask for changes or not. Chances are, I'll make changes from there, because it is the first draft. I make revisions and send you the final draft. If, after I make all the necessary changes, you still aren't satisfied, I will refund you all of your deposit. This working relationship is a relationship. That means we may work well together or not. I have always worked well with my clients, but sometimes the click isn't there. But there are some where the click was perfect.
Q. So if you could order an erotic short story to be written about something you're into, what would it be?
A. Nope. You'll have to contact me if you want to know the answer to that.
