FAQ
Q. What is up with all the coffee shit?
A. Excellent question. Coffee is my drug of choice. I do my best writing while drinking coffee.
Q. I have this idea about a story, but I'm not sure...?
A. No need to be shy. I've written stories about golden showers, ironing, Minotaur sex, incest, cuckolding, hairy women, dirty women, gay sex, threesomes, orgies, sex clubs, foot fetishes, BDSM, pegging, even a bit of scat. As long as the story doesn't break the law, it's all good with me.
Q. What kind of stories will break the law?
A. Underage sex and sex with a real animal. (Unicorns, dinosaurs, and Minotaurs are fine because they're mythic).
Q. What's the weirdest story you've ever written?
A. Ironing. A man has his penis ironed by his mistress. Yes, a hot iron. Yes, the pleasure comes from the pain of the iron. Specifically the iron. My client was very pleased, though he did I should've spent more time describing how the steel of the iron shined. One learns.
Q. What's the longest story you've ever written?
A. The longest was 28,000 words and involved mistress/slave (both women), gang bangs, water sports, orgies, lesbian sex, oral anal sex, and a shower scene between five women.
Q. Who owns the stories you write? Will you ever get them published?
A. The stories are owned by myself and the client. If I ever wanted to put them on my website or publish them, it must be with the permission of the client.
Q. How anonymous will this be? Would you ever publish my name with a story then?
Not without your permission. I will respect your anonymity entirely. You will always be referred to as "the client" and I will never share your real name or one of your stories with anyone (even my friends) without your permission.
Q. Is this just for men or can you write for women, too?
A. Women clients are very, very rare, but I do enjoy writing for women. Women are more than welcome.
Q. What are you into?
A. Nothing. I'm the most boring person ever. Vanilla is too spicy for me. That's why writing all of these stories is so interesting to me. Think about it: a man gets sexually excited over watching a woman pee. The human mind is such an incredibly imaginative creation that it can sexualize things that aren't sexual. That's fucking amazing. I wish I was that creative.
Q. If I want a story, what do I do? How much do I have to have planned out? I don't know how to write a story.
A. First, write me via the contact form below or email me: ladyristretto@mail.com. Tell me your thoughts about the story. What characters do you want to have? What sex do you want to see? Is there a scenario you'd like, such as teacher/student or brother and sister? If all you want is to see a lot of hairy women fuck each other, I can work with that. You can give me as much freedom to create the story as you wish. Or, you can give me a list of events you want to see. We write back and forth and discuss price. You pay half up front. I need about 3-5 days for the first draft, which I will send you. You can ask for changes or not. Chances are, I'll make changes from there, because it is the first draft. I make revisions and send you the final draft. If, after I make all the necessary changes, you still aren't satisfied, I will refund you all of your deposit. This working relationship is a relationship. That means we may work well together or not. I have always worked well with my clients, but sometimes the click isn't there. But there are some where the click was perfect.
Q. So if you could order an erotic short story to be written about something you're into, what would it be?
A. Nope. You'll have to contact me if you want to know the answer to that.
A. Excellent question. Coffee is my drug of choice. I do my best writing while drinking coffee.
Q. I have this idea about a story, but I'm not sure...?
A. No need to be shy. I've written stories about golden showers, ironing, Minotaur sex, incest, cuckolding, hairy women, dirty women, gay sex, threesomes, orgies, sex clubs, foot fetishes, BDSM, pegging, even a bit of scat. As long as the story doesn't break the law, it's all good with me.
Q. What kind of stories will break the law?
A. Underage sex and sex with a real animal. (Unicorns, dinosaurs, and Minotaurs are fine because they're mythic).
Q. What's the weirdest story you've ever written?
A. Ironing. A man has his penis ironed by his mistress. Yes, a hot iron. Yes, the pleasure comes from the pain of the iron. Specifically the iron. My client was very pleased, though he did I should've spent more time describing how the steel of the iron shined. One learns.
Q. What's the longest story you've ever written?
A. The longest was 28,000 words and involved mistress/slave (both women), gang bangs, water sports, orgies, lesbian sex, oral anal sex, and a shower scene between five women.
Q. Who owns the stories you write? Will you ever get them published?
A. The stories are owned by myself and the client. If I ever wanted to put them on my website or publish them, it must be with the permission of the client.
Q. How anonymous will this be? Would you ever publish my name with a story then?
Not without your permission. I will respect your anonymity entirely. You will always be referred to as "the client" and I will never share your real name or one of your stories with anyone (even my friends) without your permission.
Q. Is this just for men or can you write for women, too?
A. Women clients are very, very rare, but I do enjoy writing for women. Women are more than welcome.
Q. What are you into?
A. Nothing. I'm the most boring person ever. Vanilla is too spicy for me. That's why writing all of these stories is so interesting to me. Think about it: a man gets sexually excited over watching a woman pee. The human mind is such an incredibly imaginative creation that it can sexualize things that aren't sexual. That's fucking amazing. I wish I was that creative.
Q. If I want a story, what do I do? How much do I have to have planned out? I don't know how to write a story.
A. First, write me via the contact form below or email me: ladyristretto@mail.com. Tell me your thoughts about the story. What characters do you want to have? What sex do you want to see? Is there a scenario you'd like, such as teacher/student or brother and sister? If all you want is to see a lot of hairy women fuck each other, I can work with that. You can give me as much freedom to create the story as you wish. Or, you can give me a list of events you want to see. We write back and forth and discuss price. You pay half up front. I need about 3-5 days for the first draft, which I will send you. You can ask for changes or not. Chances are, I'll make changes from there, because it is the first draft. I make revisions and send you the final draft. If, after I make all the necessary changes, you still aren't satisfied, I will refund you all of your deposit. This working relationship is a relationship. That means we may work well together or not. I have always worked well with my clients, but sometimes the click isn't there. But there are some where the click was perfect.
Q. So if you could order an erotic short story to be written about something you're into, what would it be?
A. Nope. You'll have to contact me if you want to know the answer to that.
