Over the next week I have been given the chance to study in depth a man who I will refer to as "Dave". This study will occur through a series of interviews occurring over Kik. Dave has been given permission to masturbate when he has the urge, but he must always be honest when he does. It is important to establish that what he finds sexually stimulating and what brings him to climax: no matter how personally humiliating or shocking it may be.
Below is a summary of our conversation:
I questioned the subject about his sexual attraction toward men. Had he ever masturbated to thoughts of other men. He admitted that his "girlfriend" made him touch himself to a picture of his husband's cock. Further questioning revealed that he would allow her husband to penetrate him orally and anally if she wished. He was hesitant to admit that he feels inferior to him.
This, of course, led me to asking about his "girlfriend" who happens to have a "husband". This "girlfriend" in fact lives in Ohio, and he has never had sexual intercourse of any kind. He apparently has no history of becoming emotionally involved with women in established relationships. I assume this is misdirection.
During our conversation, Dave made no statements about other women he has had sexual intercourse with, though he maintained he finds women sexually attractive. At this point, I sincerely doubt he has any significant feelings for women. What he assumes are sexual feelings are most likely misinterpretations.
He responded to me very subserviently, allowing me to mock him. I suspect he sees women only as figures to dominate and punish him, and "force" him to explore his homosexual feelings which, on his own, he is terrified to confront.
I'm not sure where to begin.
For those of you who are unfamiliar with the website, the F-List provides a place for people to carry out sexual roleplaying using specifically constructed characters---characters which are not supposed to represent the person behind the character necessarily. I just found the site yesterday and I'm still overwhelmed with the enormity of the character development side.
If this website does nothing else, it has the most comprehensive list of possible fetishes that I've encountered---it makes Fet Life's list look vanilla in comparison.
I won't list all the fetishes, nor attempt to talk about all of them at this time. I'm sure I'll return to the list in the future. For now, here are all the options for the Vore fetish (as in cannibalism)
Vore by means of merging with the predator, or being absorbed and/or dissolved by an anatomical fluid of the predator.
The act of physically consuming another character, performed through an orifice other than the mouth, penis, vagina or anus, or receiving such actions.
Vore where something or someone is swallowed into the anus.
The act of physically consuming another character, performed through the penis, often resulting in the prey character being lodged into the testicles, or being the recipient of such actions.
Engaging in a vore-related RP in which the prey character will be digested in whatever fluid(s) are applicable.
Engaging in a vore-related RP in which the prey will be consumed, digested and released as fecal matter and/or urine.
Engaging in vore in which the prey character is chewed and/or eaten piece by piece, or otherwise physically mutilated by the act of being consumed.
Engaging in a vore scene in which realistic physiology is taken into account; typically connotates hard vore and digestion.
Engaging in vore in which the prey character is consumed whole, causing no or minimal damage to the character due to the vore process.
The act of physically consuming another character through the vagina and into the womb, or being the recipient of such actions.
Engaging in a vore scene in which realistic physiology is not taken into account; typically connotates soft vore.
Vore - Being Predator
Being the consuming partner in a vore or unbirth situation, acting as the predator.
Vore - Being Prey
Being the consumed partner in a vore-related RP situation.
Again, I'm not sure where to begin. Maybe I'll begin at my own beginning, when I was first in love and wanted nothing more than to be with the guy with whom I was in love. Even now, in love with Lord Ristretto, I still feel that intensity of attachment, of wanting to submerge into him, into us, and not wanting to be an individual anymore. In any romantic relationship, there are those times when the people individually, or the relationship itself, seems to devour them.
Perhaps this is where vore begins: the desire to devour and be devoured. A fetish attached to BDSM, the person who becomes devoured loses themselves in the role of slave, becoming only the wishes of the dom/domme. To be physically eaten by this person takes it one step further: to become the dom/domme.
When Hannibal Lecter eats people, he's an insane cannibal, a psychopath, a serial killer, and more than anything (and mostly enjoyed as being) a freak. The Hannibal Lecter world doesn't stop for very long to discuss the reasons why he does this, and Thomas Harris's last novel on the subject, Hannibal, tied his cannibalism to eating his sister when they were children. Too simple, I think.
Vore isn't just about obliteration of the individual, it's about the melding of two individuals physically and, presumably, psychologically. The taking of flesh into the body is a basic sexual action. Vore simply takes it to its logical conclusion.
This is a graph illustrating how sexually aroused people get thinking about certain taboos. I found this on Reddit, and it appears on the subreddit /r/dataisbeautiful (clicking on the above image will take you to the imgur original, which is much easier to read). There's an enormous amount of information here to process, but there are a few things I wish to comment briefly on.
First of all, the top taboos for men: group sex, performing sex acts with a friend, and the two age gaps: having sex with someone at least ten years older and with someone who is an adolescent. Incest is up there for men, but is only half as arousing for men as adolescents. What do we glean from this? That we need to rethink how we deal with men and the taboo of sexual attraction to adolescents. That it's probably even more common of a fantasy than this graph indicates?
And for women? I think the results for women are even more interesting.
The top fantasies for women are BDSM, group sex, sex with a friend, and sex with someone older. What should be noted are the high numbers of women who also are aroused by rape and being strangled. That women, and not men, have more sexual fantasies about violence is fascinating. Twice as many women find rape as arousing as men do. Why is this? It's possible it's an exaggerated metaphor for power and masculinity, of finding release and freedom in subordination and slavery.
What surprised me is that group sex, sex with a friend, or with someone at least ten years older are considered taboo experiences. I had no idea that my life has consisted of breaking one taboo after another.
Images of women tied up and gagged are powerful, not because they give the view feelings of being empowered: we the viewer being in the position of she/he who has tied the women up.
It's because the women themselves are examples of extreme holders of power. We don't tie up the weak. We tie up the strong. We tie up those who can dominate and destroy us. Women have always been seen as powerful, even magical figures when it comes to their allure. The best example being the femme fetale, who moves like a force of evil through the world and men nearly helpless before her charm.
What is more, the women know they are this powerful, and subordinate themselves as a form of release. They alleviate the burdens of their own power, and become a thing without agency.
I've been extraordinarily open minded about sex ever since my first year in college, when I learned women could have orgasms. (I was a late bloomer in high school.) Nothing shocks me. All of it interests me. I can never get enough of it.
All of the pics in my blog are stolen/borrowed from other websites. I consider myself not really a thief, but a pirate. Arrrrrrr!!!
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crazy, dirty bastard.
And I thought I was fucked up.