This confuses me, so I thought I'd use this venue to sort out my thoughts. I'm not into BDSM. By that, I don't participate in BDSM activities. Nor do I write BSDM fiction. I have read some BDSM fiction, but it's not something I seek out. I have known BDSM participants, and have found their tastes bewildering, yet I understand the master/slave dynamic. I have roleplayed online as a mistress, and sometimes it seems to tap into something dark within me, something sadistic and mean, but mostly I just go through motions.
And I LOVE BDSM images. But only certain images. Such as these:
I don't know why, and this came upon me suddenly. I literally realized one day that I was actively downloading and seeking out images of women tied up. But only certain images: only ropework, only artistic designs, only professionally photographed images, and, mostly, no face shots. This last element bothers me.
In order to grasp a handle on this, I picked out a few images of BDSM images that I dislike:
Almost all of them have faces, and a couple making direct eye contact with the camera. Those are the most disturbing: I feel challenged. Those women looking away are in distress: distress makes me uncomfortable. Some are performing sex acts or are spread open for sex: again, this seems too graphic, too explicit. I prefer suggestion over direct statements of sex. I don't like amateur pics because these are less artistic, the lighting off, the background disturbingly realistic. "Disturbingly realistic" encapsulates my philosophy of these photographs: I do not like them to have anything to do with everyday reality. They must embody fantasy, a painless dream where women are beautifully bound like wrapped Christmas presents.
Perhaps that's what I like most about these images: the women are there as beautiful presents for me to open or keep wrapped. They are pretty works of art, not "things", and not objects to fuck.
Most of all, they are under control.
I've been extraordinarily open minded about sex ever since my first year in college, when I learned women could have orgasms. (I was a late bloomer in high school.) Nothing shocks me. All of it interests me. I can never get enough of it.
All of the pics in my blog are stolen/borrowed from other websites. I consider myself not really a thief, but a pirate. Arrrrrrr!!!
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And I thought I was fucked up.