I found a sex survey on reddit (linked on the image above) and I like talking about my sex life and I'm fascinated by psychological studies, so I started taking it. I didn't finish it, however, because I found I did know how to answer many questions. These are some of those questions and I'll answer them to the best of my ability.
How many partners have you engaged in sexual behavior with but not had sex with?
I can't possibly remember. I'm forty. I've been having sex since I was 21 (very late bloomer). Though I was a late bloomer, I've worked very hard to make up for it. I could put together a list of people I've had sex with, but those I just messed around with I can't possibly remember.
How many times have you gone out to bars/parties/social events with the intent of "hooking up" but not having sex with someone?
Oh, god, who could possibly answer this. I can't even remember all the bars I went to, let alone how many times I felt horny and wanted dick/pussy.
How many times have you had an unexpected and unanticipated sexual experience?
More often than not, this is what happens. When Lord Ristretto surprises me in the morning for sex, does that count? It must, because it fits their definition. And after almost twenty years, how can I generate a number for this.
How many times have you had a sexual encounter you engaged in willingly but later regretted?
This one is pretty broad and an interpretation can include everything from rape to merely regretting a relationship. Again, I have no idea.
How many times have you given or received fellatio (oral sex on a man) without a condom?
Do people actually DO this? I've heard of it, and heard that people do it, but I've never done it. From the point of view of a sexual philosophy grounded in pleasure and hedonism, this seems like an unacceptable form of protection. What's the point of fellatio if I can't taste the cock and swallow cum.
How many times have you given or received cunnilingus (oral sex on a woman) without a dental dam or "adequate protection"?
Again, who does this? I site the above answer.
How many times have you or your partner used alcohol or drugs before or during sex?
For many years, I didn't/couldn't have sex without being drunk. Almost always, the person I was fucking was drunk as well. I'm not sure when this began, and only have a vague idea about when it ended (I was drunk, haha). But generating a number isn't possible at all. Isn't a better question, have you ever had sex while using drugs/alcohol?
How many times (that you know of) have you had sex with someone who has had many sexual partners?
What strikes me by this question is its opposite form: how many people did you fuck that had little to no experience? What, then, is little experience? What is "many partners"? I'm sure the number has changed through the years, depending upon cultural influences.
How many partners have you had sex with that you didn’t trust?
Wow, where do I begin with this? How do I define "trust"? Under what context (do I trust him to feed the cats?)?
I'm not going to rewrite the questions so that they would generate more accurate answers. What interests me is the inability to quantify sexual experience. Quantifying sexual esteem is a pretty arduous task in itself.
But what is my experience? What does it mean that I can't remember everything, or everyone? What about those people I remember and will always remember? Shouldn't they have special prominence when judging my self esteem, or my sexual history as a whole? And what about the erotica I write: aren't those also my sexual experiences, extensions of my history and manifestations of my self esteem? Perhaps my erotica is a more vivid portrait of my sexual life than what I've actually done.
I've been extraordinarily open minded about sex ever since my first year in college, when I learned women could have orgasms. (I was a late bloomer in high school.) Nothing shocks me. All of it interests me. I can never get enough of it.
All of the pics in my blog are stolen/borrowed from other websites. I consider myself not really a thief, but a pirate. Arrrrrrr!!!
Would you like Lady Ristretto to write you a personalized, dirty Story?
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crazy, dirty bastard.
And I thought I was fucked up.