The first time I saw this video, I couldn't stop laughing. The post I saw had a caption which was something to the effect of, This extremely intelligent dolphin is skullfucking a decapitated fish. I watched it several times and couldn't figure out why I found it so funny.
I was telling Lord Ristretto about the video tonight, showed it to him (he hadn't seen it), and laughed again. This time I slowed my thinking down and figured out, I think, what is so funny.
It's the fact that it's a dolphin. Several countries in the world have declared dolphins as "non-human persons" and therefore cannot be exploited in waterparks as entertainment. I agree with such a categorization and applaud the decision.
What this shows is that intelligence has nothing to do with sexual choices, and all to do with sexual methods (the dolphin figured out the decapitated fish body would fit its cock and help it cum).
Other posts of this video on youtube had warnings on it about the necrophiliac behavior of dolphins, even warning parents when taking their children to zoos. They're missing an obvious point to the fish fucking dolphin:
It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter that the fish has no head, that's dead, that the dolphin is intelligent, that the dolphin (a creature very cognizant of being observed) was whacking off in front of an audience of people. When it comes to sex, to the need to get off, in nature nothing matters but the orgasm.
And the fact that the dolphin is highly intelligent is what I found so hilarious. If a dog was doing this, it would be dismissed as the actions of a dumb animal. But for a dolphin to do it, in my opinion, shows up the absurdity of sexual taboos. If we learn nothing else from dolphins, we should learn to look at sex and masturbation in fresher, less fearful ways.
I devised a game for this session. In this game, Dave would tie up his balls using string. I would have control over whether or not the strings tightened. His part would be to masturbate and attempt to cum. It was a race: if he could cum before I had him tighten the strings enough to castrate himself.
He wasn't keen on this game. I had to threaten him with public exposure, and he finally relented. I imagine his protests were only designed to make me threaten him, thereby arousing him.
We began and I asked him a series of questions, in order to distract him from masturbating. I asked him if he had been raped or had raped anyone. He answered no, but admitted to having rape fantasies in which his "girlfriend" dresses him in women's clothes and "Tying me down and a guy fucking me while I'm gagged and cuffed....It's hard to stay hard during this topic. Can we change it?"
I absolutely would not change it. I drew parallel's between his mother and his "girlfriend": "That's the kind of thing your mother would do: abandon you when you needed her, stand by and watch you get hurt....Do you fantasize about your mother watching you in sexual situations?"
He questioned if I was really trying to castrate him. I was only playing the game, I answered. Then added:
"In the rape scenario with your girlfriend, if your girlfriend mirrors your mother, is the raping male figure your father? Is this how you're able to feel closeness with your father---being joined through the violence inflicted by your mother?"
He begged me to change the subject and said again he was having a hard time staying hard. He asked if he could have a toy: a buttplug, small but still significant. Testing him further, I had him use Deep Heat as lube on the buttplug. He attempted to fight me on it, but gave in quickly. The exchange following is astounding:
"It's in...It's hot already...It's hurting...Please. Let me take it out?"
"You can use your safe words if you need to. Suffer the penalties of course."
And then, a long delay before his response:
"I came. So hard. I've not cum that hard in a long time. It was intense as hell."
The fear of castration, the incestuous, violent images of his mother, fantasies of forced feminization and rape, and severe rectal burning all contributed to his orgasm. One, he observes himself, which is the most intense he's had in a while.
I'm afraid that Dave cannot divorce pain, humiliation and sex. I believe this has roots in his childhood, something traumatic that happened with his mother, perhaps also abuse by his beloved father. This need for pain and suffering very likely could branch out---where hurting himself for sexual pleasure will lose it's potency and he must hurt others. Most likely little boys, replaying a scenario of violence he himself suffered in his childhood.
We began our conversation with Dave applying a clothes pin to one of his nipples and Deep Heat to the other. We came up with the following agreement. If the pain became too much, he could use his safe phrase (I said it should be "Mommy please", in order to create deeper levels of humiliation should he need to stop). But if he ever use his phrase, he would have to do the following:
Our conversation consisted of questions, and he discussed his first sexual experience, admitting that with this girl he eventually let her fuck him with a strap on. He went on to say that if I had a strap on he'd come over and pay me to allow him to suck it.
This led to him admitting that he would pay for my bodily fluids. I had him apply Deep Heat to his inner arms, at the elbows. He was stroking simultaneously and I had him twist the clothes pin on his nipple. So occupied, he couldn't respond to me. I asked him a series of questions and provided answers:
Question: Dave, why do you want to ingest bodily fluids, as well as my boyfriend's cum?
Answer: Because I can only feel happy being humiliated because my mother humiliated me and it's the only way I know how to be loved.
Question: Dave, why do you have sex with women when all of your sexual excitement comes from being degraded by them---not from their bodies.
Answer: Because I'm afraid people will hate me if they know the truth. So I do what everyone else does.
At this point he asked permission to cum, demonstrating that all of my question/answer observations were accurate: he found sexual comfort in humiliation.
Day two revealed differences in attitude with Dave. I began our conversation with questions about his parents. His father he reveres, while his mother he loathes for the poor, abusive treatment of his father. I pointed out that the qualities his mother displayed can be found in his "girlfriend". This revelation resulted in a shift in the conversation.
Dave asserted that I called him "boring". I did not remember doing so, but I went with him as this offered insight into his thinking and agreed that he is boring.
He became combative, argumentative, even manipulative. Dave continued to wrestle the conversation away from me, trying to turn it upon me. He asked me questions, bargained with me for answers, then asserted that he truly had all the power. Any power I had, he maintained, was given to me by him and could be taken easily.
Above all, he fought me upon the comparison with his mother and "girlfriend", demonstrating vividly that he truly, deeply agreed with the interpretation. His fight for power was a strategy to remove the power and impact of this observation. If I had no power, my words had no power.
Though he admitted arousal (especially when I mentioned slapping him), he did not orgasm. I forbid him to cum that night and said he needed to have rubber bands for our conversation tonight. We will be exploring pain.
"Now," I reached over and took the iron. I showed it to him, held it close to his face so he could feel the heat. "Why is this going to happen?"
He made some sort of excuse about the oven cleaner. I moved the iron closer and said, "No, it's not about the oven cleaner. What is it really about?"
"I disappointed you."
I smiled and squealed. "Good boy! And what will you do in the future?"
"Everything you want, exactly how you want it."
I was so excited I laughed with joy. It was time. I let the iron steam against the side of his face. He yelped, but more from being startled than from pain.
"We'll begin with ten seconds. You can handle that easily, right?"
He nodded vigorously. I pressed the towel over his cock, and then pressed the iron on it. I started breathing faster---but no, I must calm down. I must not peak in my pleasure too soon. I was already soaking wet, but that wasn't important.
Five, six, seven, eight...
He squirmed and moaned, tensing his body and pulling on his restraints. I knew where he was: he was approaching pain, in the throes of discomfort. He was more afraid than suffering. The suffering would come later.
The first moments always took me back to my childhood when, for reasons beyond the eight year old me, I would spank the dogs of our neighbors, punishing them by locking them in closets. I was completely confused by this deep, exquisite pleasure and was helpless before it. I remember so many moments when I felt compelled, as if by an outside force, to take my pleasure in these ways.
I figured it all out eventually, after shedding the shame that coupled the confusion. I wasn't confused now. I knew exactly what I was doing.
Over the next week I have been given the chance to study in depth a man who I will refer to as "Dave". This study will occur through a series of interviews occurring over Kik. Dave has been given permission to masturbate when he has the urge, but he must always be honest when he does. It is important to establish that what he finds sexually stimulating and what brings him to climax: no matter how personally humiliating or shocking it may be.
Below is a summary of our conversation:
I questioned the subject about his sexual attraction toward men. Had he ever masturbated to thoughts of other men. He admitted that his "girlfriend" made him touch himself to a picture of his husband's cock. Further questioning revealed that he would allow her husband to penetrate him orally and anally if she wished. He was hesitant to admit that he feels inferior to him.
This, of course, led me to asking about his "girlfriend" who happens to have a "husband". This "girlfriend" in fact lives in Ohio, and he has never had sexual intercourse of any kind. He apparently has no history of becoming emotionally involved with women in established relationships. I assume this is misdirection.
During our conversation, Dave made no statements about other women he has had sexual intercourse with, though he maintained he finds women sexually attractive. At this point, I sincerely doubt he has any significant feelings for women. What he assumes are sexual feelings are most likely misinterpretations.
He responded to me very subserviently, allowing me to mock him. I suspect he sees women only as figures to dominate and punish him, and "force" him to explore his homosexual feelings which, on his own, he is terrified to confront.
I'm not sure where to begin.
For those of you who are unfamiliar with the website, the F-List provides a place for people to carry out sexual roleplaying using specifically constructed characters---characters which are not supposed to represent the person behind the character necessarily. I just found the site yesterday and I'm still overwhelmed with the enormity of the character development side.
If this website does nothing else, it has the most comprehensive list of possible fetishes that I've encountered---it makes Fet Life's list look vanilla in comparison.
I won't list all the fetishes, nor attempt to talk about all of them at this time. I'm sure I'll return to the list in the future. For now, here are all the options for the Vore fetish (as in cannibalism)
Vore by means of merging with the predator, or being absorbed and/or dissolved by an anatomical fluid of the predator.
The act of physically consuming another character, performed through an orifice other than the mouth, penis, vagina or anus, or receiving such actions.
Vore where something or someone is swallowed into the anus.
The act of physically consuming another character, performed through the penis, often resulting in the prey character being lodged into the testicles, or being the recipient of such actions.
Engaging in a vore-related RP in which the prey character will be digested in whatever fluid(s) are applicable.
Engaging in a vore-related RP in which the prey will be consumed, digested and released as fecal matter and/or urine.
Engaging in vore in which the prey character is chewed and/or eaten piece by piece, or otherwise physically mutilated by the act of being consumed.
Engaging in a vore scene in which realistic physiology is taken into account; typically connotates hard vore and digestion.
Engaging in vore in which the prey character is consumed whole, causing no or minimal damage to the character due to the vore process.
The act of physically consuming another character through the vagina and into the womb, or being the recipient of such actions.
Engaging in a vore scene in which realistic physiology is not taken into account; typically connotates soft vore.
Vore - Being Predator
Being the consuming partner in a vore or unbirth situation, acting as the predator.
Vore - Being Prey
Being the consumed partner in a vore-related RP situation.
Again, I'm not sure where to begin. Maybe I'll begin at my own beginning, when I was first in love and wanted nothing more than to be with the guy with whom I was in love. Even now, in love with Lord Ristretto, I still feel that intensity of attachment, of wanting to submerge into him, into us, and not wanting to be an individual anymore. In any romantic relationship, there are those times when the people individually, or the relationship itself, seems to devour them.
Perhaps this is where vore begins: the desire to devour and be devoured. A fetish attached to BDSM, the person who becomes devoured loses themselves in the role of slave, becoming only the wishes of the dom/domme. To be physically eaten by this person takes it one step further: to become the dom/domme.
When Hannibal Lecter eats people, he's an insane cannibal, a psychopath, a serial killer, and more than anything (and mostly enjoyed as being) a freak. The Hannibal Lecter world doesn't stop for very long to discuss the reasons why he does this, and Thomas Harris's last novel on the subject, Hannibal, tied his cannibalism to eating his sister when they were children. Too simple, I think.
Vore isn't just about obliteration of the individual, it's about the melding of two individuals physically and, presumably, psychologically. The taking of flesh into the body is a basic sexual action. Vore simply takes it to its logical conclusion.
Let me begin with the Wikipedia definition:
"Futanari is the Japanese word for hermaphroditism, which is also used in a broader sense for androgyny...Beyond Japan the term is used to describe a commonly pornographic genre of computer games, comics and animations, which includes characters that show both primary sexual characteristics. In today's language it refers almost exclusively to characters who have an overall feminine appearance."
And now an illustration:
Why delve into this subject? I took on the assignment of writing a futanari gangbang and I had very little knowledge of the subject (I'm not into anime beyond the sublime and disturbing Attack On Titan). But it moves beyond seeing drawings of chicks with dicks. It's about the more complicated meaning.
The penises are at times ample, and surprisingly at times small. The breasts always seem to be enormous and the women themselves extremely feminine. If it wasn't for the exposure of the penis, it would be impossible to predict that such a woman would have both sexes. It becomes then about the juxtaposition of both sexes, but with the rejection of masculinity. The women retain all the appeal of their femininity and all its power, while having the penetrating, aggressive power of male sexuality. It creates a kind of femininity that expresses its power through penetration, rather than the more passive power of female sexuality.
This appeals to men who wish to be dominated by women; in my instance, the male figure is gang raped, humiliated and abused (as per request). It is a BDSM dynamic, absent the dominatrix who assumes masculinity in her manner and approach, even if wearing feminine attire.
This is a form of hermaphroditism, or intersexism which is more culturally appropriate today, that our culture cannot grasp outside of rare, fetishised porn. It is a form of femininity and a reinvention of male genitalia that is refreshing.
Now, to my gang bang.
This is a graph illustrating how sexually aroused people get thinking about certain taboos. I found this on Reddit, and it appears on the subreddit /r/dataisbeautiful (clicking on the above image will take you to the imgur original, which is much easier to read). There's an enormous amount of information here to process, but there are a few things I wish to comment briefly on.
First of all, the top taboos for men: group sex, performing sex acts with a friend, and the two age gaps: having sex with someone at least ten years older and with someone who is an adolescent. Incest is up there for men, but is only half as arousing for men as adolescents. What do we glean from this? That we need to rethink how we deal with men and the taboo of sexual attraction to adolescents. That it's probably even more common of a fantasy than this graph indicates?
And for women? I think the results for women are even more interesting.
The top fantasies for women are BDSM, group sex, sex with a friend, and sex with someone older. What should be noted are the high numbers of women who also are aroused by rape and being strangled. That women, and not men, have more sexual fantasies about violence is fascinating. Twice as many women find rape as arousing as men do. Why is this? It's possible it's an exaggerated metaphor for power and masculinity, of finding release and freedom in subordination and slavery.
What surprised me is that group sex, sex with a friend, or with someone at least ten years older are considered taboo experiences. I had no idea that my life has consisted of breaking one taboo after another.
His hand touched my hair and I knew he was awake. I glanced up at him through the water: my long red hair floated through the water like clouds, distorting my view of him. I knew I had to work fast and I sucked his cock harder. I didn't want to give it up. It was so rare to find a human male isolated and vulnerable.
And no one in the ocean has ever excited me like a human male. I am so ashamed to say, I don't feel excited by anyone except human males. It is so criticized and forbidden and I would be mocked and ridiculed and shunned if anyone discovered me doing this.
Part of the danger of doing this was if he woke up. He could stop me, grab me and force me onto land, cage me and take me away to one of their labs we've heard about and have me cut up and eventually fed to them in a restaurant where they eat all kinds of sea creatures.
I suck him harder and harder, and I can tell by the muscles in his legs, how his thighs tense that he is close.
I wonder if I should feel guilty, forcing myself on him like this, making him cum at my . desire. I don't care. I'm too close myself. As his cock touches the back of my throat and slide over my tongue, I get closer and closer to my own orgasm. I can't help my body as it straightens out in the water. My tail rises and falls in the water. I make waves that wash over him. I'm quite longer than him, I realize. I could crush him if I had to.
This excites me even more. I lift him out of the water and further up onto the beach. I want to feel the sun drying and warming my skin. I want to feel my hair hanging heavy and dripping around my face. He looks very startled by me, especially when he realizes that my tongue and lips have the same lavender/emerald scale pattern that my body has. I tell him to touch my breasts and he looks confused. I don't know how to speak his language, so I put one of his hands on my breast and instantly moan and giggle from the stimulation. He understands immediately.
He touched my other and I let out a high pitched, excited sound that he wouldn't ever have heard before. I go back down on his cock and he moans and pinches my nipples and squeezes my breasts. Then his hands move all over my arms and shoulders as I suck him. It's overwhelming and so stimulating I have to stop my sucking because I cannot concentrate. I use my hand on him and he makes similar noises. I think we understand each other now. We have found our own language. I stroke him and he strokes my neck and my hair (I had no idea my hair was so sensitive!). We stroke to our own rhythm. It isn't rushed, but slow, savouring, enjoying this while it lasts. We get closer and closer to cumming, and when I'm extremely close, I know he is as well and I shove his cock deep in my throat. He cums almost instantly and shoots the top of my mouth and down my throat and the sensation pushed me over the edge. I pulled my head off him at the right moment and howled so loudly seagulls screamed and took to the air.
He lay back in the sand, breathing heavily. I wasn't completely recovered, but I became suddenly panicked that he might turn on me. Unusually, I wanted to stay and try to communicate further with him, but the danger was unfortunately real and serious. I slid off the beach and jumped into the water, my tail coming down with a fierce pound that sent a wave crashing over him. By the time he looked, I was gone.
I've been extraordinarily open minded about sex ever since my first year in college, when I learned women could have orgasms. (I was a late bloomer in high school.) Nothing shocks me. All of it interests me. I can never get enough of it.
All of the pics in my blog are stolen/borrowed from other websites. I consider myself not really a thief, but a pirate. Arrrrrrr!!!
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crazy, dirty bastard.
And I thought I was fucked up.